Tag Archives: Lucrin

This week I have mostly been eating…

I take it back, the injections are starting to hurt. My belly has tiny pin pricks on either side of my belly button and is starting to look a little bruised, similar to what I imagine a junkie’s would look like if they  ran out of veins and had to resort to their belly. Sorry, yucky analogy.

They started to hurt last week when my period started and I assumed it was just my pain threshold lowering as it does during my period. I learnt long ago that having a bikini wax at that time of the month is not a good idea. Ouchy! My belly is also really fat – don’t know of this is from the hormones or just because I have been eating lots (lots) of fertility-enhancing foods, such as:

Adzuki beans (ask anyone who practises TCM or acupressure, adzuki beans are a universal panacea)

Sweet potato (low GI, high fibre, yummy and according to the book I am reading, guaranteed to get you pregnant. Well, not by sweet potato alone, but you know what I mean)

Wakame (full of iodione)

Quinoa (strengthens the kidneys in TCM, key to fertility and libido – this last sadly unneeded)

Walnuts (full of B6 which balances hormones)

Beetroot (yummy + boost kidney function)

Asparagus (aphrodisiac – again, sadly unneeded right now 😦 but apparently revitalises reproductive organs. It also flushes the system so should deal with my very puffy ankles – from the Lucrin?? Makes the pee very smelly though)

Sprouts (the equation is:  living food + attempting to create a living thing = baby)

Bananas (Phallic…?! craved them this weekend but they’ll send me broke with the price in Oz right now – $12 a kilo!! Made of gold clearly)

Anything green.

No coffee. Minimal tea.

One glass of wine per week (siiiigh. This is my dosage – the doctor said “three while I’m trying but not together”. Did she mean three in total for the whole time, or three per week?). Hmmm…

All in all I think I’m doing pretty well with eating well. Luckily I’m not a junk food person and like nothing better than a plate full of green vegies. I usually like to wash it down with a a bottle of red, but hey, it’s a minor inconvenience. Anyway, part of this process is about change, so maybe that means changing my drinking habits.

There had to be side effects didn’t there?

So now that I find the injections starting to hurt, I have to do two a day. I started the Gonal-f yesterday and have had a doozy of a headache all day today. I called the clinic this afternoon and asked if I could take pain killers because it didn’t ease all day and I was getting annoyed with it, I never get headaches. The nurse said I could take Panadol only – not Nurofen. I’m glad I asked. I would have either martyred myself through it  or caved and taken a Nurofen, so now I know – Nurofen no-no.

Other side effects experienced so far apart from the splitting headache:

Night sweats – hello menopause! For the first week I just thought I was hot because of the hot water bottle, but it’s the hormones stupid!

A period lasting an entire 7 days and counting. Bored with this now! So on top of the cost of the treatment, I have to pay for extra tampons. phlaaghg.

Cankles. Attractive.

Twitching in the vicinity of my ovaries. I suppose this is a good sign – my diagnosis.

Aforementioned fat belly. Side effect of drugs, not overeating.

A total lack interest in work. Oh – that’s probably just me and my general aversion to work, and the fact that I have more interesting things to read than financial analysis (surely not I hear you cry!).

Belief

I’ve been doing a beautiful 21-day “meditation challenge” through the Chopra Centre and yesterday’s meditation focused on the creator, which obviously really spoke to me.

Belief is so important to achieving your goals. The meditation reminded me that I set my goals, and I am the creator of my world, my reality. The theme of the 21 days is to continually ask the question, “Who am I?” – the eternal question on the spiritual path. So they have been asking – or encouraging us to ask ourselves – “Who am I?”. I have just sat with this question, without bothering to intellectualise it or mentally or cognitively answer it. Yesterday though a few descriptions of myself passed through my mind – daughter, sister, friend, editor, colleague, blogger, lover (whose?). Mother.

Mother.

It’s just there, in me. I am a mother. I didn’t have to think about it, it wasn’t what I thought I should think, I didn’t force it out. It just came. I am a mother. In about 10 months time.

Ooh – and just  quick post script. I just did day 8 of the meditation and this beautiful passage from the Upanishads was quoted, which is so apt for my journey – and all our journeys.

“You are your deepest driving desire.
As is your desire, so is your will.
As is your will, so is your deed.
As is your deed, so is your destiny.”

So our desires can actually be our destiny, if we flow it through our will and our actions, our attention and personal commitment.

So I have the desire, and I have taken the action (the deed), and now my destiny awaits. mmm. Juicy stuff.

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Plan B is under way…

So, I had my appointment at Fertility First on Tuesday. As I walked down to my car, I thought, If I have left the bloody lights on and the battery’s flat… but all was fine.

The clinic is a really beautiful Federation house with lovely gardens, art and objets, and a fish tank filled with amazing tropical fish in the room where they take blood – you feel tranquil and relaxed and that everything will be just fine. Just as well, because I just parted with $3,850 of my hard-earned. That’s just the deposit.

The nurse took blood to see if I had ovulated, as you need to have ovulated before the next step. She showed me how to inject myself with the Lucrin – yes, you do have to stick the whole length of that needle in – gave me a little showbag full of needles, a sharps container, alcohol wipes and the Lucrin itself, along with a freezer pack to keep it cold till I got it home and put it in the fridge.

The next afternoon, the nurse called – it’s all systems go – start the injections tonight!

I had a momentary wave of OH MY GOD, do I really want to do this?? But that passed quickly and was replaced by excitement. You’re supposed to give yourself the injection at exactly the same time every evening, so I have chosen 5pm, which I hope is not too early but since I get up at 4.30am every day for work, I figure it’s “evening” in Michelle hours.

5pm arrives and I prepare for the first injection of 10 units of Lucrin. God I hope I’m doing this right. I place the needle tip on my belly and in it goes. I barely felt a prick! In fact since then I keep thinking – am I doing this right? Because it’s so easy and I can’t feel a thing. So far so good

So, now the Lucrin is pulling all the strings. I am its puppet. As far as I understand, it is partially blocking naturally occurring hormones (Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) and Luteinizing Hormone (LH)) so that they don’t interfere with my egg development – they don’t want the eggs releasing any earlier than they are ready to collect them.

I have to say, I get quite excited every day at 5pm! I’ve set the alarm on my phone so I don’t forget, and I’ve just got to make sure I’m home. The nurse said (under sufferance) that they give you an hour’s leeway in doing the injection, but really, it has to be done at the same time every day.

The next (clinical) step is to go back next Friday for some “down regulation”, when I think I start FSH injections. I know I’m a bit fuzzy on the medical specifics, but the doctor has worked all that out so I don’t have to!

There were a few surprises/minor shocks at the appointment. Apparently if some part of the process isn’t working the way it should, other drugs need to be taken – at about $160 a pop! Literally, $160 PER INJECTION. Crap. And the half day in hospital on the day of egg collection costs about $2,000. My private health insurance won’t cover this as there’s a 12 month waiting period for any kind of ART or pregnancy related services, and Medicare will only rebate a small amount. BUT, as I said, i for a penny… in for (the amount keeps increasing) $10,000.

My mantra is … everything is working perfectly and I am pregnant on the first try. I just heard that the sister of a friend of mine is pregnant after her first attempt, which is heartening, especially as she was having lots of actual sex  before that with no luck. Having fun probably but no cigar. For me – no fun = no proof that I have trouble getting pregnant = up the duff first time!

And god knows, I can only afford one round!

My next step? CHOOSE THE BABY DADDY!! The clinic gives you a basic list, which gives you details of height, weight, build, race, eye colour, hair colour and a general idea of his occupation. There is only one Aussie donor on the list (where are they??), the rest are from a sperm bank in the US.  I can go onto the American website and get more details about each donor – family medical history, blood type, other information about his relatives, hobbies, skin tone. For a fee, I can access a baby photo and an adult photo of the donor.

And I’m going to pay that fee, because I want a pretty baby! I want to breed out this Celtic skin of mine, which is so not suited to the Australian climate, or any climate for that matter. And I want smart. And tall. And kind. All the attributes I would be looking in an actual man. Of course I will love whatever I am given, but really, who would go for a  huge nose, weak chin, crooked teeth and bad skin if they had a choice?

And off I go, to choose the donor! Whoa.

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Filed under ART, IVF, pregnant over 40, relationships, sperm donor, Uncategorized