Category Archives: single mum

Little bubbles

That’s what the embryos (I think they’re technically called blastocytes) looked like on the screen before the doctor put them back in. A cluster of cells, but more like little bubbles. Amazing to think the potential they have to grown into – who knows – a nurse, a doctor, a lawyer, a pilot, a prime minister, a parent.

It was all over in a few minutes, just like having a pap smear.

I walked out of the clinic giggling hysterically to myself  – “I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant!” I kept saying to myself. And since then I have continued saying it, and sending  “attach and stick” vibes to my uterus.

The doc said “Just be yourself” when I asked if I should or shouldn’t do anything. But I’ve kept it low key this weekend, a bit of shopping, a yoga class, meditation and lying on the floor at home in supta baddha konasana and viparita karani, which help improve blood flow to the pelvic region. They are also lovely and relaxing. And lots of mantras and affirmations – “I’m pregnant!”, “Stick little babies!”.

As to why the clinic prefers to transfer more than one – I’ve just read this:

“There are some suggestions that embryos help each other to implant.  In other words, the more embryos that you transfer, the greater the chance that each one will stick.”

I’m hoping for just one but if they both stick? Che sera, sera. I’ll just have to go public, sell my story to New Idea or something, get a sponsorship deal from Huggies, and put the kids to work as baby models, because they’ll be gorgeous right!

Side effect update

After the egg collection I was feeling very tender and delicate, and still am a bit. It’s easing off somewhat but my whole abdominal region feels revolting – like I’m all blown up with gas. Which I think is actually what it is. The doctor said it was constipation but it feels more uncomfortable than that. A girl I met while waiting for the transfer – she was having her embies transferred too – said the same thing. Hope it goes away soon – not to mention the discomfort, it makes it hard to work out whether I’m feeling implantation cramps or not. Though I’m sure I am!!

Anyone out there with a similar experience? Anyone know how long it takes for the embryos to attach?

Just a little bit annoyed too

I spoke to my dad today for Father’s Day. It took him a while to get around to the “what’s happening with the IVF?” question, and even then it was in a roundabout way.  I got the feeling  when I got the courage to tell him a few weeks ago what was going on that he thought “you’re too old”. He didn’t say it – in fact he didn’t say much – but that’s the feeling I got.

Anyway, today, when he did get around to broaching the subject, he told me my aunt (his brother’s wife) was “beside herself” about it. What do you mean, I said. Well, she just thinks it’s dangerous, and you’re too old blah blah blah. She’s already said this to me before but I was so pissed off. Dangerous? To who?

Who’s freaking business is it of anyone else’s anyway? I have really tried to avoid anyone negative during this process but you can’t avoid your family can you? Lucky they are on the other side of the country.

She ain’t getting a hold of my beautiful baby, that’s for sure. Huh.

Anyway

The mythical two-week-wait begins. And we are waiting.

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Filed under ART, IVF, pregnant over 40, single mom by choice, single mum, sperm donor

The first day of spring

And two little egglets have been fertilised and are multiplying in a test tube. Or whatever they multiply in. A petri dish? Anyway.

Early trip to St George Private Hospital yesterday, arrived about 7.45. Checked in, had my identity checked about 57 times, read my book, and finally got wheeled in to the theatre about 10.30am. The doctor said they would write the number of eggs they retrieved on my hand. Blackout. Aren’t general anaesthetics weird? Where do you go while they are spreading your legs, inserting a needle through your lady bits, and generally poking around with probes, ultrasounds and other such un-fun stuff? It’s not like being asleep, you are just … gone.

I came to I guess about 45 minutes later in the recovery ward. Groggy, tender and feeling delicate and a bit unsure as to who I was, the first thing I did was to check my hands. Nothing!

Aah! wha..? A nurse came by and checked my records. They got 11. Eleven! Seemed like a good number to me.

On my way home, the clinic called. Four of the 11 were suitable for fertilisation – the others were not quite mature enough. I was hoping for six.

Home, and treated myself with a tub of Sara Lee butterscotch and honeycomb icecream (yep, a whole tub), chocolate and the sofa.

This morning the clinic called – two of the four have made it past the judges, the other two have been voted off. 😦 Why? I was so hoping all four would pass muster but two just didn’t get on with the sperm, or the sperm didn’t get on with them. When I asked why, the girl in the lab said, “Humans just aren’t the best reproducers in the natural world.”

Still, it’s the first day of spring, when new life bursts forth. The sun is shining and my little egglets – I should call them embryos now – are growing strong and sturdy and tenacious.

In the book I am reading, the heroine has just discovered she is accidentally pregnant. It’s a sign!

And in my guided meditation through the Chopra Centre today, the mantra given was “Om vardhanam namah” which means  “I nourish the universe and the universe nourishes me”, which to me seems to fit with today and the next few days and months ahead.  Another sign!

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Filed under ART, IVF, pregnant over 40, single mom by choice, single mum, sperm donor