Plan B looks like it’s gone AWOL too

Oh I know, it’s been a while, 18 March 2013 to be exact, since I wrote a post on this blog (except for this post on this other blog).

A lot has been going on, and I feel like it might be a good idea to get it down in writing, for my sake as much as for your reading pleasure.

So, since the last post:

I decide to leave Sydney and return to Perth.

I quit my job.

I drive from Sydney to Perth (a post on the epic 5,000 km road trip later)

I get a nice job in communications as soon as I arrive in Perth.

I house sit for while – no rent!

I start going out with that old boyfriend of 20-odd years ago from this earlier post.

(Sounding good right!)

I hurt my back and end up in hospital just before New Year.

My back seems to slowly start to get better.

I think I’d better go to the doctor to get my boobs checked – one is a bit weird.

I have a mammogram and ultrasound.

I am diagnosed with breast cancer.

Wait – WHAT?

(Even now, 9 months later, I have to do a double-take – ME? Cancer?)

Because the lymph nodes are involved, I have a CT scan and a full body bone scan.

I am diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer – it’s spread to my bones.

(It was really hard to write that last sentence – still makes me cry).

My back starts to really hurt again.

The cancer is 100% oestrogen-receptor positive, so the oncologist puts me on the drug Tamoxifen. No chemo? Maybe not, says the oncologist. Really? No chemo? I keep asking, though I’m pretty happy about not having chemo.

I have 5 days of radiation for my back, because it turns out that soreness? It’s actually the cancer and I’ve fractured a vertebra. No wonder it’s so freaking sore.

I have a follow-up scan in April. It’s spread to my liver now. Better start chemo straight away. You bet we’d better. Isn’t that what I’ve been fucking asking for?

Despite all this, I feel really healthy. Traumatised, devastated, shocked, grieving, deeply, deeply sad, a whole lot of other things, but physically healthy.

I have 6 rounds of chemo, 3 weeks apart. I’m terrified, but it’s not nearly as awful as I anticipated. Like having one of those hangovers where you just can’t get up off the sofa. Of course there was the hair loss and traumatic as that was, I got over it pretty quickly. Hair grows back.

Chemo finished, hair starts to sprout again, looking forward to really starting to feel 100% healthy again, then. I fall over in my courtyard at home and break my freaking kneecap. Surgery and 4 days in hospital.

Universe – WHAT THE HELL?

Ok, ok, I GET IT. I’m not resting enough. Now I can nothing but. I can’t drive, can’t leave the house unassisted, so I have to rest.

Start 5 weeks of radiation on my naughty boob. Surgery later in the year.

Phew. More later.

x

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3 Comments

Filed under breast cancer, cancer, ER+

3 responses to “Plan B looks like it’s gone AWOL too

  1. Jenni

    Oh my goodness, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry you have had all this trauma, I am sending wishes of good health your way… although the way I lead my life I am surprised I have not ended up in a really bad way health wise. At 52 maybe I should really think about my life and embrace some healthier choices. Thank you for sharing and I really hope things work out for you, sending many cyber hugs and support.

  2. Thank you Jenni. I’ll write more in future posts about how I’m coping and what I’m doing to address all this shit (no other word for it!). You know, I thought I was doing all the right things and took an active interest in my health and this still happened. Just shows the big C is undiscriminating.

  3. Love you Michelle! Thanks for sharing your beautiful blog once again. I am so in awe of your amazing bravery and down to earth good humour throughout this whole crappy year. You are my hero ❤️

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