Because I haven’t done any of the things I said I was going to do in my (very few) previous blogs. Haven’t blogged. Haven’t been to any yoga classes (except a few at the gym), umm, what else did I commit to doing? Whatever, I haven’t done it. Still intend to though. Really! I did start The Artist’s Way. Did I say that? Possibly. I think I did. And I have been doing that, but not for the last few days. And while writing my morning pages I had this thought about Discipline. I write that with a capital D because that’s the way I (and probably a lot of us) think about discipline – like a really serious thing. The Macquarie Dictionary defines it as “training to act in accordance with rules; drill; punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.” Gee that’s sounds appealing doesn’t it!
But while I was doing my morning pages one morning last week and really struggling with them, I realised that when you set yourself a goal, and then do it, achieve it; or even do the things to that go towards achieving it, even if they don’t get you there straight way, it feels like such an achievement. You feel good about yourself. And I thought about how not doing something you set yourself makes you feel bad about yourself, perhaps even worse than if you let someone else down.
All the while you’re telling yourself all those excuses – ah, I’m tired, I really need the sleep, so I won’t get up and do my yoga, morning pages, exercise, meditation – whatever. i really need that skirt/top/shoes, bugger the credit card. Well, discipline my dear. You know how good it feels. It’s funny – you feel like you are being selfish by not doing the things you set yourself to do, but in a way, discipline is selfish. I feel selfish buying stuff, staying in bed, not doing yoga, meditating. But the discipline is the real selfishness. It’s like a part of yourself is keeping something good from another part of yourself. I’m keeping the good things from myself. Self-selfishness?!
Discipline and its opposite is denying your true self of the benefits of discipline . The lack of discipline keeps me from becoming all that I can be, keeps me stuck. Naughty me, undisciplined me, is being selfish towards all-that-I-can-be me – no, make that, all-that-i -am-already-am – and holds me back.
Discipline = freedom to be all that you can be.
Oh and drinking – decadently, Cointreau on ice.