Commitment fulfilled and another made

I am feeling rather uninspired today to write, but I did go to my first yoga class in months. It was just at Fitness First mind, but it was ok. I always worry in those classes that  because they tend towards the stronger side of yoga, that my ego will get in the way and I will do anything the teacher says, even when she offers a less extreme version of a pose. This always happens. Hmm, I think, should I do a headstand today? Haven’t done one in ages. I’ll just give it a try. Ohh, hurts my back a bit – oh well, push through it, get your body upside down girl! So I did, even though I really felt it in my back as I was going up – abs not strong enough I guess. But see – i can’t stop myself. It’s such a hard thing to do – pull yourself back. I’m not even an A-type personality, quite the opposite, and still I push myself. And ironically particularly in yoga.  Still, I feel good now physically, but we’ll see how I feel tomorrow. Those gyms classes are rarely contemplative, which I think I needed.

Had a pretty intense evening yesterday. Spoke to M.NYM. What an intense situation I have got myself into. I’m not sure if I am up to it, I feel emotionally out of my depth. And this is one of those situations that I probably wouldn’t push myself – but I probably need to. Intense emotions are uncomfortable and difficult to deal with. I think I run a mile from them usually.

Another commitment I am making to myself – meditate every day. As soon as i get out of bed. A habit I am finding it difficult to establish, even though I know it’s pretty much the only thing that will progress me in life, to help me lead a better, happier, more fulfilling and calmer existence.

Drinking on this beautiful Sunday afternoon: Rose Oolong tea.

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